1st Halloween

I would say that Halloween was a big hit with T&B! It was a completely new and fun experience for them. Theo was Michael Jackson and Blessing was Princess Jasmine. What can I say, these two love to sparkle!
I think the aspect of getting tons of free candy was a little more in keeping with their preconceived notions of life in America. They have been a bit disappointed finding out that Americans just don't have cell phones, cars, and nice homes given to them. They are always asking if things are for free. Well, for one night anyhow, FREE CANDY REIGNED!

Help for B!! Hooray

Well, I was very frustrated at the end of second grade, when B was so behind, so not making progress and I was told because she was an English Language Learner that she would not qualify for any resource or special ed for two years. I was also denied retaining her in second grade.

So, this year I started before school even started talking to her teacher about what I perceived to be my daughters needs. She listened! She acted! She referred, recommended, and recorded everything about B and her learning difficulties.

I got a letter from her doctor stating for the record her extreme ADHD and requested she be evaluated for special ed based on her disability and to have that take precedence over the ELL laws.

Low and behold, the squeaky wheel does indeed get the grease!!! B qualified. She will now have 2 hours every school day of special focused education based on her academic needs, not her age!! I am so happy and excited for my girl!!!

It is coming together

So, this transition has probably been the worse on Zach. He doesn't handle change too well. This has been hard, because our vision of what was going to happen was that he and Theo being the same age, would become best buds.

The reality was different. These two boys have very different interests and while they seem to have developed a mutual respect for the others talents, it hasn't been exactly friendship.

Lately there have been some subtle changes: Theo begging Zach to come with him and his friends to the gas station for treats, Zach inviting Theo to go TPing with him and his buddies, more talking, more laughing, more private jokes.

Last night, very late into the night, I could hear the low rumble of Theo's voice coming from downstairs. I went down to tell him to be quiet and get some sleep, but I paused at the door. Zach and Theo were just gabbing away about friends, school, whatever.

I know it was a school night, but I snuck away, saying nothing. I could still hear the low rumble as I fell asleep, and right now the screen is blurry from happy tears. It is coming together.

One perfect moment

Yesterday, Theo was sitting at the kitchen table and leaning forward to do his homework. Sophie climbed up behind him, placed her blanket on his back, and leaned against his back. Then she rested her head on his shoulder and said, "Hi Theo."
"Hey, Sof," Theo said.
"Hi Theo," Sophie said again still resting her head on him.
There wasn't a camera near by and if I had run to get it, she just would have moved. It was a perfect, beautiful moment. I will see it in my mind's eye forever. Eight months ago, Sophie took one look at this big dark boy and screamed in fright. Now he is her brother. Could there be a happier ending?

Fish Heads and Chicken Bones

Theo and Blessing eat fish heads and chicken bones. Since I don't serve fish with heads, I have not witnessed the former, but Kyle and Zach have seen Theo munch a fish head at scout camp. And, when Blessing heard about it, she was jealous saying she, "loves the eyes!"

While the rest of my family reacts with different stages of amusement and/or disgust, I have tried to take it all in stride. After all, this is their culture or tradition or whatever. At least that is what I thought, until I overheard a little exchange between T & B. I wanted to write it down so I will remember it.

Theo doesn't eat chicken bones anymore. When Blessing asked him why he wasn't eating his bones, his response made me again realize the life my son and daughter have lived. He said, "I don't need to eat the bones anymore. I am not hungry."

What would I eat, what would you eat, if we were truly hungry? I wonder.

Wondrous Variety

This young lady was hurt when she found out that the boy she was seeing had a mom and sister that didn't like her, because she "looks too much like a cheerleader," and couldn't possibly be a "good girl."This young man is hurt when people comment that he is so short for his age.
This handsome fellow doesn't like being called fat.
And this beautiful young girl was told last week that her skin made her ugly.
At first I freaked that the neighborhood child was being racist, but after posting to the yahoo boards and getting some great responses, I rethought. Kids are mean. (Adults sometimes too!) They grasp for anything and everything that makes a person stand out in whatever the present company is.

My children, your children, you and I are all made exactly as we were meant to be made. To quote one of my favorite characters from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, "because Allah in his wisdom, loves wondrous variety."

Another Milestone (To me anyhow)

In 2007 we attended the balloon fest in Provo, UT. We had just decided that we were going to adopt siblings from Liberia, West Africa. We didn't know their names or faces or anything, but we knew then that we would find them.

While we were at the fest we saw a family with triplets from Ethiopia. They were babies and we imagined what it would be like for our new children to have this experience. We knew they would be older and understand more than those babies.

Every year after that, when balloon fest time rolled around I would think about my two kids that were missing it yet again and feel a little sad. This year was different!! Here we are! Complete! Together! and finally experiencing this as a family united!!

This picture is going on the fridge!

Boating and being Brave!

Theo and Blessing are brave. They have been exposed to all sorts of new things in the last 5 months, but they are always game for the next adventure.

This week it was boating with the Garnetts. You would think that after getting thrown off this tube that they would have had enough, but both were ready to keep on riding.

Blessing practically strangled Ben she was hanging on to him so hard when they were thrown off. Kyle had to jump out and calm her down and help her back in the boat. But she calmed right down and was ready to go again.

These two are really brave!

Out of Patience

That is where I am right now - just outside of patience and headed for crazy! B woke up on one this morning. She is negative, argumentative, smart mouthed, rude, inconsiderate, and just an all around pain in the neck!

I have tried several times to reason with her, but she just seems to be getting worse with every passing hour. It isn't all directed at me either. Everyone in the house has gotten a taste of her attitude.

It isn't even 1:00 pm and the day is already seeming horribly long . . .

A Deeper Conversation

Blessing is so far a purely instinctual creature. She doesn't self examine or reflect on things at all. Last night, she had little break through and I was thankful to have a real conversation with her about something that was on her mind outside of food and what toy/item of clothing that she thinks she needs.
Blessing: Mom, sometimes I get mad and I am freaking out and I say something that will make you mad.
Me: That's okay sweetheart. We all say things sometimes that we don't mean.
Blessing: I don't really mean it. I am just freaking out.
Me: What did you say.
Blessing: I don't want to tell you (but obviously she did)
Me: Is it like when you say "I hate you?"
Blessing: I don't hate you.
Me: I know, but sometimes you say that when you are mad.
Blessing: I know. Sometimes I say I want to go . . . (she fades out)
Me: You want to go back to Liberia?
Blessing: (Nods with wide eyes and looks a little frightened) But I don't want to go back.
Me: I know honey.
Blessing: I was just freaking out
Me: It's okay

Bikes and bike parks

One of the biggest smiles I have ever seen on Theo's face was the one he wore riding up to school on his new bike. I had promised him a bike as soon as the weather got better and I must say buying that child a bike has been a really good investment if you measure the pay off in use and enjoyment.

Last week he discovered our local bike park with all of its jumps and hills and tracks. He came back at noon after a couple of hours with a big gash in his arm. I asked him if he had had fun before he got hurt. He told me he had gotten the gash when he first got there, but just stayed because they were having fun.

Right after lunch he was back out there with his friends. He came home later with more injuries, but the next day headed back, this time with Ben and Zach and some of Zach' s friends too.

Fat Wedding Day (giggle giggle)

Last night I was waiting for everyone to get home from baseball practice and B and I were watching "Say Yes to the Dress." A mindless half an hour of watching 2 or 3 brides to be try and find the perfect dress at Klienfeld's.

This particular episode was focused on plus size brides.

B is eating lunch right now and she just asked me if we can watch "Fat Wedding Day." I am pretty sure that is what she is talking about. She makes me laugh.

A Carnival and a Parade

Last weekend we celebrated our city festival called Pony Express Days, because we live on the old Pony Express route. Four houses up from us was a parade and at the other end of our street is a huge park that held an enormous Carnival and vendor fair for three days. It was nothing like anything T&B had ever seen. You can tell by their faces that they had a good time.

When we were down at the carnival with the little kids, the big kids would roam around with their friends. We ran into our neighbor one day, who had just seen Theo. He described him like this: "He was just standing in the middle of all the activity and gazing up at one of the rides. He was smiling and just shaking is head like he couldn't believe everything he was seeing."

I love these magical firsts!!!

An Egg Drop

There is a certain novelty to a US education that I don't think we that grow up here appreciate. Blessing's 2nd grade egg drop contest was a big deal to here that seemed to amuse her to no end. Her design: She wanted lots of cotton. We wrapped the egg in cotton batting, put it in a small zip lock, wrapped the ziploc in more cotton and put it in a large zip loc and then wrapped it again and put the whole fluffy mass in a small cardboard box. The result: a mass of yellow yolk dyed cotton in the middle. However, she was still smiling at the end.

A Special Normal Evening

Blessing and the whole second grade did wonderfully at the second grade patriotic program. Chloe, Theo, Grandma and I attended, while Kyle, Zach, Grandpa and Sophie attended Ben's choir concert. (Divide and conquer is the motto when you have 6 kids in 3 different schools - next year it will be 4 different school -yipes!)

Anyhow, the program was beautiful, inspiring and Blessing seemed to be surrounded by friends. It felt so normal and nice. Afterwards, we all headed to the new local ice cream parlor to celebrate Ben and Blessing's success. Blessing ran into a friend there as well.
On the whole, a pretty simple evening, but it sits well in my heart and mind because even though we had to split up for a while, it felt like we were pretty unified as a family. It made me happy.

The letter S

Kyle is good. While I just understand what Theo and Blessing are saying and go from there, he takes the time to work with them so other people will understand them too.

The latest focus is making sure that they don't truncate the end of their words. It can provide some comical situations. This one occurred when Theo wasn't making his plurals clear:

Kyle: You have to say the end of your words. You have to pronounce the s at the end of words.

Theo: I "dooz!"

"Swee swee narabell" and "Thank you Mary Tarry"

Blessing has been singing. The first line is from Disney's Cinderella "Sing sweet nightingale." I recognized the tune. So, that helpedme know the words.

The next song was a mystery to me. Who is Mary Tarry? I keep asking myself as she belts it out as she swings on the backyard swing set. I knew she had learned it at school, but I couldn't think of any historical figure with that name.

Luckily, J came to visit the other day and they were singing it together. "Military" the word is military and it is being sung at the 2nd grade patriotic program this week.

I am glad that Miss B doesn't let words get in the way of her making a joyful noise :)

I can insult my mama, but you better not!

So, after almost four months of really frightening stories from mostly Theo, but Blessing as well, Benjamin mentioned in conversation that he didn't want to ever go to Liberia.

That set off a big defense mechanism in Theo and he proceeded to say that the US was the stupidest country he had ever been in and that he hated it here. (When Theo argues, you have to realize he goes down to about an 7-8 year old mentality.)

I sat him down and explained that Ben loved him and that everything that Ben knows about Liberia has been taught to him by Theo. I repeated to him his comments about beatings, being hungry, being robbed, childhood prostitution, human sacrifice, being forced to do adults jobs for minimal pay, workers stealing the toys that were meant for the children, etc. . . I then added that to a 7 year old like Ben, that that would sound like a scary place.

I suggested that he tell Ben something nice about Liberia. His response: "They have nice people, and supermarkets and people have businesses there." Not exactly a travel brochure. He then decided to tell me that it was all a lie; that none of what he has said in the last 3 1/2 months is true.

Well, I am really not sure how to deal with this. Of course what he has been saying (with the exception of the human sacrifice thing) has been widely reported by more than just my 12 year old. I have always been very careful to focus on the positive of T&B's country of birth. None of these negative views have come from me, but I don't know that going into denial over where he came from is exactly a healthy answer???

WHAT!!!!

I went to a meeting this morning with T&B's teachers and the ESL district leader. I was hoping to get some answers on whether or not we should push on or retain, particularly Blessing in her current grade.

To my continued frustration, B's teacher feels like it is too difficult to test B, because once she hits a topic or subject that she doesn't know or understand, she shuts down. Okay, so, I ask the teacher to use her powers of observation and tell me if she thinks that B is even close to being at the academic level she should be at for the end of second grade.

The disturbing answer: Out of 30 kids in her class, she thinks maybe 6 of the children are at the end of second grade academically.

WHAT!?? Is this as disturbing to anyone else as it is to me???

Frustrated!

I am at a loss.
I am running into dead ends as far as answers go.
The public school is not meeting Blessing's needs. This is evident by her consistent behavior issues in school. She had one good week and I though that maybe she had overcome a barrier. However, last week she had "strikes" from her teacher 4 out of the five days and this week she started Monday with three strikes and has gotten one everyday since, except for today.

It is normal for ESL students to have some acting out difficulties because they are in a situation where they are not understanding for 6 hours. That is why they have ESL programs. Her school does not have an ESL program in place.

So, I have been trying to coordinate a home school situation, but am not getting a lot of cooperation at the district or on a private level. I keep running into educators that tell me, "we cannot retain her because of language."

So, now I have demanded testing, which frankly should have been done months ago! She is not just having language difficulties. She does not understand the subject matter. She is not on grade level with her skills, and frankly she is socially quite behind as well.

The teacher argues that she is tall and it would be awkward. What?!? We are so concerned with "no child left behind" that height is a determining factor in selecting an appropriate grade???

So, I suggested to Blessing that she might have a better time if I schooled her at home, but she says she would miss her friends. Argh!

I guess I have not found the right solution. My biggest prayer is that a spot will open in the charter school that will allow her to be social with children her own age and do academics on the appropriate levels for her skills. Their ESL program is also in place and functioning.