Last night Theo asked me if there are thieves in America. I was surprised. "Sure, Theo," I answered not sure what he was asking. Then he indicated the large wall of windows that look out on our back yard and said:
"In Liberia if you had a small fence on your yard (ours is 6ft) and all this glass, the thieves would come over the wall, break your windows and kill you and take all that you have." He then added, "America is safe."
I was amazed at the world from which this sensitive kind young man has emerged and am so grateful that he feels safe at last. I assured him that our neighborhood is pretty safe, but there are other places that are not as safe. I explained how the neighbors look out for one another and about our police force and 911 in the case of an emergency.
He absorbed this all with the calm acceptance that he has treated all the new discoveries he is making in this new life.
Speaking of new discoveries:
I had Blessing's hair done before we left Liberia. It was supposed to last 6 weeks. I had paid careful attention to how they did her hair without the extensions, but I was happy to have some time to work on my African hair skills and research.
Well, today she could not take those extensions anymore! They were itchy and driving her nuts. So, we took them out. The problem with that is: the ladies at the foster home had relaxed her hair for the extensions. This by no means means her hair is relaxed, but it does mean it will not hold the cute little braids as well at it did pre-relaxation.
So, I make my first foray into the care of my daughter's hair. Hopefully I will not scar her for life!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
"Best Friends"
Hooray for Basketball and bike riding and friendly neighborhood children!!!! Theo has been outside with Ben and some of the kids in the neighborhood a couple of times yesterday and today..
Last night he came in with a huge smile and informed me that Nathan Wilson was going to be his new best friend here. Oh the joy of making anew friend in a new place! Oh the happiness in this mother's heart!
Today there were a bunch of kids playing outside, including most of ours. Kyle said it warmed his heart to hear so many calls of, "Theo, come play with us," and "Theo is on our team."
Truly any transition can only be helped by good and kind friends!
This afternoon, I am smiling!
Last night he came in with a huge smile and informed me that Nathan Wilson was going to be his new best friend here. Oh the joy of making anew friend in a new place! Oh the happiness in this mother's heart!
Today there were a bunch of kids playing outside, including most of ours. Kyle said it warmed his heart to hear so many calls of, "Theo, come play with us," and "Theo is on our team."
Truly any transition can only be helped by good and kind friends!
This afternoon, I am smiling!
"EH" and "I Beg You"
So, Kyle made a discovery the other day. Every time I say ANYTHING Blessing's first response is "EH?" Like a little old lade that can't hear you. So, I say it again, slower, sometimes louder. Well, it turns out this might not be a case of not understanding me or not hearing me. It is just a bad habit.
Kyle found that if he didn't respond to the "EH?" that Blessing would answer giving every indication that she both heard and understood. The trick is to say what you are going to say, ignore the "EH?" and wait. The answer will come.
Both Theo and Blessing are fond of saying "I beg you," when they are not getting their way or when they want something at the store. I have had to learn to give the same firm no that I give to the other kids when they whine for something. It is hard to do, but with six kids, I have to say "no."
Kyle found that if he didn't respond to the "EH?" that Blessing would answer giving every indication that she both heard and understood. The trick is to say what you are going to say, ignore the "EH?" and wait. The answer will come.
Both Theo and Blessing are fond of saying "I beg you," when they are not getting their way or when they want something at the store. I have had to learn to give the same firm no that I give to the other kids when they whine for something. It is hard to do, but with six kids, I have to say "no."
Friday, January 28, 2011
I'm an idiot, but I can moonwalk
How do you ask a 12 year old boy if he knows how to take a shower? Honestly, that could be a touchy subject.
This morning there was a definite BO problem in the house. I suggested a shower before we headed up to the school to register. Well, I was listening to the sounds in the bathroom and there was definitely water running, but it was the bath running, not the shower.
Then I realized that our shower was different from the one in the hotel that I had showed the kids and Theo probably had no idea how to switch the water to the shower head by pulling that little knob. I was further embarrassed when I realized that I have set my kids shower up with body wash rather than bar soap, something that he has never seen. I also realized I had neglected to provide him with deodorant.
I am an idiot.
So, after whatever weird sponge bath the poor kid had managed in there, I asked him if I had shown him how to turn on the shower. He let me know that I hadn't. we had a quick lesson. I also apologized for not giving him deodorant and asked him if he knew what it was. He made a motion of rubbing it under his arms and I nodded.I gave him a stick. He went downstairs and smelled better when he came back up.
At the store I bought Theo and Blessing some moisturizing body wash and some puffs and told them how to use them. It is amazing the things I don't think of teaching them until I am reminded by something obvious.
There is some small redemption for me. This afternoon Theo wanted to see some Michael Jackson Videos. So, I went to that section of Youtube and let him listen and watch. When Thriller came on I heard Chloe calling me, "Mom, come show Theo how to Moonwalk."
Yes, I can indeed do the Moonwalk. Well, Theo's eye's just popped! We spent a little time working on the Moonwalk, and his smile was so big! For a little tiny moment this afternoon, I was a cool mom. I could Moonwalk.
This morning there was a definite BO problem in the house. I suggested a shower before we headed up to the school to register. Well, I was listening to the sounds in the bathroom and there was definitely water running, but it was the bath running, not the shower.
Then I realized that our shower was different from the one in the hotel that I had showed the kids and Theo probably had no idea how to switch the water to the shower head by pulling that little knob. I was further embarrassed when I realized that I have set my kids shower up with body wash rather than bar soap, something that he has never seen. I also realized I had neglected to provide him with deodorant.
I am an idiot.
So, after whatever weird sponge bath the poor kid had managed in there, I asked him if I had shown him how to turn on the shower. He let me know that I hadn't. we had a quick lesson. I also apologized for not giving him deodorant and asked him if he knew what it was. He made a motion of rubbing it under his arms and I nodded.I gave him a stick. He went downstairs and smelled better when he came back up.
At the store I bought Theo and Blessing some moisturizing body wash and some puffs and told them how to use them. It is amazing the things I don't think of teaching them until I am reminded by something obvious.
There is some small redemption for me. This afternoon Theo wanted to see some Michael Jackson Videos. So, I went to that section of Youtube and let him listen and watch. When Thriller came on I heard Chloe calling me, "Mom, come show Theo how to Moonwalk."
Yes, I can indeed do the Moonwalk. Well, Theo's eye's just popped! We spent a little time working on the Moonwalk, and his smile was so big! For a little tiny moment this afternoon, I was a cool mom. I could Moonwalk.
Flashback Moments and Avoiding Crushing Blows
So near the end of the story one of the Characters usually has these flash backs of all these moments that add up to that Character knowing that the other Character loves them, has loved them all along and that they truly belong together.
Today might have been one of those moments: Benjamin had a cultural fair in the second grade today. He has been planning it since before I left for Africa. He had chosen Italy for his topic. The day before yesterday, he changed his mind and decided he wanted to do Liberia. He printed pictures off the computer, made a poster board, and wrote down very exactingly, all the facts that Theo gave him. He brought some Liberian money, clothes, and carvings to share with the class.
We went to watch his presentation, Theo, Blessing, Sophie, and I. Ben even had Theo help him demonstrate the Liberian shake and snap handshake. I don't know if Theo and Blessing appreciated that Ben was motivated by love and pride for his new brother and sister. I don't know if Ben even understands that, but I hope that this will be part of the flashbacks that occur, when in their hearts our family truly fuses.
Tried to avoid a crushing blow to my darling Theo today. I thought I better check his long division, because it didn't seem correct to me. It wasn't. It was hard for me to tell him that the way his teachers at the AFAA house had taught him was incorrect and help him make the necessary adjustments. It was even harder when I found out through teaching him that he didn't know how to borrow when he subtracted.
Here is a boy that felt confident in his math skills. He had told me he wanted to study mathematics. I was worried that this would shake his confidence. However, by the end of our little study session, he could borrow with out any problem and complete long division problems with and without remainders.
I told him that he has a very good math mind! That many people have trouble learning math and that he is very quick at it. That maybe he hasn't learned everything yet, but he had proven that he could learn everything and very well. He seemed happy with that.
In other news: Blessing's silent treatment only lasted about an hour yesterday and she returned to her happy self. We have reached book 4 in the BOB learn to read books. The problem there is very often she will look in the air and guess from the list of words that we have already learned. I have to keep telling her to "look at the word."
Last night's dinner was not the hit that the fried chicken and Spanish rice were the night before. However, I can't FRY everything or we will all end up huge with clogged arteries! Tonight I am trying a beef stew and I'll make rice for them to put it on if they like. Cross your fingers for me!
Today might have been one of those moments: Benjamin had a cultural fair in the second grade today. He has been planning it since before I left for Africa. He had chosen Italy for his topic. The day before yesterday, he changed his mind and decided he wanted to do Liberia. He printed pictures off the computer, made a poster board, and wrote down very exactingly, all the facts that Theo gave him. He brought some Liberian money, clothes, and carvings to share with the class.
We went to watch his presentation, Theo, Blessing, Sophie, and I. Ben even had Theo help him demonstrate the Liberian shake and snap handshake. I don't know if Theo and Blessing appreciated that Ben was motivated by love and pride for his new brother and sister. I don't know if Ben even understands that, but I hope that this will be part of the flashbacks that occur, when in their hearts our family truly fuses.
Tried to avoid a crushing blow to my darling Theo today. I thought I better check his long division, because it didn't seem correct to me. It wasn't. It was hard for me to tell him that the way his teachers at the AFAA house had taught him was incorrect and help him make the necessary adjustments. It was even harder when I found out through teaching him that he didn't know how to borrow when he subtracted.
Here is a boy that felt confident in his math skills. He had told me he wanted to study mathematics. I was worried that this would shake his confidence. However, by the end of our little study session, he could borrow with out any problem and complete long division problems with and without remainders.
I told him that he has a very good math mind! That many people have trouble learning math and that he is very quick at it. That maybe he hasn't learned everything yet, but he had proven that he could learn everything and very well. He seemed happy with that.
In other news: Blessing's silent treatment only lasted about an hour yesterday and she returned to her happy self. We have reached book 4 in the BOB learn to read books. The problem there is very often she will look in the air and guess from the list of words that we have already learned. I have to keep telling her to "look at the word."
Last night's dinner was not the hit that the fried chicken and Spanish rice were the night before. However, I can't FRY everything or we will all end up huge with clogged arteries! Tonight I am trying a beef stew and I'll make rice for them to put it on if they like. Cross your fingers for me!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Kisses and the Liberian Pout
So, today we had our ups and downs.
The high point was Sophie, who has been a little spooked by Theo and Blessing, giving them each kisses completely without prompting or encouragement. That made me so happy.
Another high point was Theo asking me for leftovers from last night's dinner, fried chicken and Spanish rice, for lunch and telling me he really liked them. It has been hit or miss finding foods that he likes. It was nice to score a homerun!
The low point was Theo telling me that Blessing doesn't like Ben. She proved it by hitting him, shoving him, ripping things out of his hands and telling him to "shut up." I had to put her in a 10 minute time out. She is now giving me a sample of the "Liberian pout" of which I have heard. With all of her talkative personality, she is now treating me to the silent treatment. I wonder how long that will last?
In the middle was the struggle to decide how to handle the kids education. Theo wants to get to school. I think he will be okay. He can read very well and that is the key to learning anything.
Blessing cannot read. Second grade seems to be a little advanced, but the district is insisting on age appropriate class assignment. I have looked into home schooling opportunities and they are numerous, but she is so social that I want her to make friends.
We have an appointment at the school tomorrow to feel things out. I hope they like the school and feel good about it, but if not we will seek out other opportunities. They are both very bright kids and will catch on quickly.
So, this is the day! Good, Bad, Normal, and Exceptional. I guess that's how we know we are alive!
The high point was Sophie, who has been a little spooked by Theo and Blessing, giving them each kisses completely without prompting or encouragement. That made me so happy.
Another high point was Theo asking me for leftovers from last night's dinner, fried chicken and Spanish rice, for lunch and telling me he really liked them. It has been hit or miss finding foods that he likes. It was nice to score a homerun!
The low point was Theo telling me that Blessing doesn't like Ben. She proved it by hitting him, shoving him, ripping things out of his hands and telling him to "shut up." I had to put her in a 10 minute time out. She is now giving me a sample of the "Liberian pout" of which I have heard. With all of her talkative personality, she is now treating me to the silent treatment. I wonder how long that will last?
In the middle was the struggle to decide how to handle the kids education. Theo wants to get to school. I think he will be okay. He can read very well and that is the key to learning anything.
Blessing cannot read. Second grade seems to be a little advanced, but the district is insisting on age appropriate class assignment. I have looked into home schooling opportunities and they are numerous, but she is so social that I want her to make friends.
We have an appointment at the school tomorrow to feel things out. I hope they like the school and feel good about it, but if not we will seek out other opportunities. They are both very bright kids and will catch on quickly.
So, this is the day! Good, Bad, Normal, and Exceptional. I guess that's how we know we are alive!
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