"Who beat him?" and "You stuffed my gut!"

The other day, Ben did not behave well at school and I reprimanded him - which in our world means we had a little chat. He was feeling bad and was crying when Blessing came in, "Ben is crying," she stated and then questioned, "Who beat him?"

I explained to her again that we don't beat our children. To which she replied, "I know. You are a good mother." That made me happy.

However, the beating issue is at the core of some problems that we are experiencing. Theo has made me aware that beatings were frequent and severe in the foster home and they were often given with little to no provocation. According to Theo they often raised welts on his skin. This makes me absolutely sick!!

One of the problems that arose in school the other day was Blessing punched a child that made her angry. This is how she has been taught to deal with anger. It is not and acceptable way to handle things. I was hopeful, after I asked her if she wanted to grow up to be like "Aunty F," the woman in the foster home that carried out many of the punishments. She gave me an emphatic "NO" and began to cry. I explained that we need to start now while she is young to not hit, so she will not hit little children when she is older. She seemed to understand.

The other problem is trying to find discipline that gets through to the kids when they need to be corrected. At first they really didn't respond to things like time outs, because they have been a little hardened by their experience. But, things are getting better. They are apologetic quicker and try to be better even with the less extreme measures. They are really both very good kids at the core and are capable of responding to loving discipline, maybe not as fast as I would like, but they are learning.

Last night, I made a mini Thanksgiving dinner for Family Home Evening. At the end Theo informed me that I had "stuffed his gut." He then added, "Thanks mom." Today after dinner, homemade lasagna, the kids were all praise for the meal and Blessing informed me that, "Yes, you do a good job!"

I don't know why, but when she says things like that and the good mother comment, I just tear up. It gives me happy milestones along this very unique journey :)